Stupid Paperwork
by skyshadow22
Summary: A fierce battle between Captains! That's right, I mean a staring contest! It's Captain Kuchiki vs. Captain Ukitake in a high-stakes competition! The Lieutenants are witness to this contest, and find it to be quite entertaining to watch.


**Okay, this is my first story, so be honest. Bleach is my absolute favorite anime, so I think its appropriate that my first fic be a Bleach one. Hope you enjoy!**

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**_I do not own Bleach or any of its characters._**

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"What are they doing?"

"They're having a staring contest."

"Why?"

"Ya know, I'm not really sure."

In one of the conference rooms in the Sereitei, there was a small crowd gathered to watch a staring match between Captain Kuchiki of Squad 6 and Captain Ukitake of Squad 13. In the room stood the Lieutenants of Squads 3, 6, 10, and 13. Renji Abarai of Squad 6 had just entered the room, looking for Captain Kuchiki.

"How long has this been going on?" Renji asked Squad 10's Rangiku Matsumoto.

"Um, about 20 minutes."

"Well how did it start?"

"To tell you the truth I'm not sure. We were just walking along and saw the Captains walking together. Since they usually don't hang out with each other we thought it was odd and followed them. They came in here and just started staring at one another."

"But, why?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean what's the point in having a staring contest?"

"Oh, well..."

"Whoever loses has to cut their hair with their own Zanpakuto."

All the Lieutenants jumped at this. Captain Kuchiki hardly ever spoke, so a sudden statement such as this came as a surprise.

"Um, Captain Kuchiki, I need a little help with some paperwork..." The Captain reached for his sword, indicating that Renji shouldn't bother him. The Lieutenant backed off with a scared look and stood with the others.

Five more minutes passed as the two Captains sat at the table staring at one another. Renji had left due to the paperwork problem he was having. Footsteps were now approaching rapidly and the door suddenly flew open, causing both of the Captains to blink simultaneously.

"Ah-ha! I found you!"

The Lieutenants stared at Captain Zaraki of Squad 11 standing in the doorway.

"Ah, crap. I thought Yachiru was in here. Rrrrrr. She knows I'm not good at following spiritual pressure. Where the hell is she!?" He ran off again leaving the Lieutenants, who turned their attention towards the Captains. The two of them sat there a moment longer and then got up at the same time and walked out.

"Well, that was different," Rangiku commented.

The others simply nodded. They stood there staring at the table, and then the door. After a while, they left the room and went about their business.

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"Ah, man! I'm gonna be late!" Renji was hurrying to get to a meeting that he had forgot about and overslept. He turned a corner and bumped into someone. "Ow. Hey! Watch where..." He looked up to see Captain Zaraki standing over him. 

"Outta my way!"

"Uh, yes sir. Sorry."

Zaraki growled and walked away, but as Renji got a look a look at the back of his head, he had to hold his hand to his mouth to keep from laughing. Captain Zaraki had had all of his spikes cut off about halfway. Renji got up and hurried to where he knew the Squad 11 Captain would not here him. He released his laughter and rolled about on the walkway. After about five minutes of holding his sides, he continued to the meeting. He could hear laughter coming from the room before he entered. When he opened the door, all the Lieutenants were laughing their heads off. Some were rolling around like he had, and others were supporting themselves from collapsing by holding on to the wall. Renji walked over to Rangiku and asked what they were laughing about.

"Yachiru told us what happened to Kenpachi Zaraki..." She was cut off by a fit of laughter.

"Yeah, I saw him. What was that about?"

"Apparently, Ukitake and Kuchiki didn't appreciate him interrupting their staring match, so they went after him and cut his hair, since that was the arrangement they had made with each other."

"So that's what I missed? Dammit, stupid paperwork."

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**I hope you liked it. I'm sorry that it's so short, but it is my first story. Please review!**


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